The only problem

            We have jusy recentley started looking at foreclosed houses. You would be surprised at how cheap you can get a nice house nowadays. For instance we found one that was a 3 bedroom and 2 bathroom, full finished basement, nice backyard, hardwood floors, on an acre of land for $49,000. I mean that is a steal right?!?! The only problem, no money! It would be super easy to afford the payment for that kind of cheapness, right?!?!? BUT, No bank wants to give you the loan for the downpayment. Not to mention there are sooooo many things that would have to be fixed before you move into this house, such as: all the windows downstairs are broken, the back porch looked as though it may be rotten, the electrical wire was hanging from the ceiling (that has to be expensive to fix), It would DEF need to be painted, and the hardwood floors could use some sanding. Sounds like thid house is pretty scary huh? Well im the kind of person who can see the finish product. I can see what a cute home this would be after all the repairs. BUT, who has $10,000 laying around to do that with? NO ONE! Who can randomly afford $10,000 to put a downpayment? No ONE! I mean, it sucks when you find such a great deal, yet you know its impossible. UGH, I cant wait until I have my dream home. AND I WILL, some day!!! It will take some hard work and some hardcore prayer, but I WILL!!

SpellCheck

            Yeah, I dont ever do that. So for you people whom it may drive crazy to have mispelled words that I may not have caught, im sorry. Who spell checks anymore anyways? (Shannon),,,,,,,:)

Souless Embarassments

            Have you ever had one of those moments where you do something totally hilrious and embarrassing and then look up just to make sure no ones looking. Yet, even when there is no one at all looking you still laugh it off to yourself thinking someone somewhere MUST have saw that. Well today, was one of those days.
            So for a Saturday the outlet mall today was farely slow, well atleast our store. Im totally zoned out staring at the floor thinking to myself "When will my shift be over? This cant go by any slower!". I continue walking back and fourth as I think to myself I could make myself usefull and clean out the fitting rooms. I walk back to the back towards the rooms and im almost there when I trip and LITERALLY faceplant into the wall (with my face). Im telling you I almost knocked myself out I fell so hard. I get up laughing, hoping that no one saw this. I go into one of the fitting rooms and check to make sure my nose wasnt bleeding from the wall punching me in the face. As I turn around to walk out of the fitting rooms(thinking there is no one in sight) a woman comes around the corner with a arm full of bra's, I scream, she throws all her bra's into the air. Hoping she wouldnt get mad for scaring the beejesus out of her a throw a quirky smile and say "ooops", she (thankfully) starts laughing histerically(phew) and then says "you scared the POOP outta me" (hahahah). So needless to say today has been one of those days.
            OH, and while im on the subject of embarassing myself ill tell ya another story. So being HanesBrands, everyone knows that Micael Jordan is one of our stores spokesperson's, therefore for some reason we have to have a 9 foot tall cardboard cut out of him, which up until the other day has just been sitting in the back. So, I come in at 8am and Cynthia tells me there are some coupons that need to be cut out at the front counter. Well being 8am the lights in the store arent on yet. Im slowly dragging my way to the front when I look up and to my surprise Michael Jordan is right in front of me, of course I scream and throw coupons everywhere, then say to myself (for some reason I get the two mixed up) "Damn you Michael Jackson!" :) (Luckily again there was not a soul in sight, yet I still had to play it off cool just in case)

Midnight Mania

           It is approximatley 1am and I am still going strong so I decided to make a hate list. Here are a few if my not so favorite things and why:

• Tom Cruise: Because is he hot: NO, Is he a great actor: NO, Does he act the same boring self in every movie he has ever played in: YES
• Not being able to go to sleep until 2 am: Because it sux being the only darn one in the house still up
• Cheap people(dont get me wrong, I love a good deal. Im talking the people who want everything for free):For the simple fact money doesnt grow on trees, do you expect to do something for someone of business for free or get something for free, NO, then why would they?
• Whiners: Who wants to hear an adult whine?? Not me! I mean when people whine about absolutley everything.
• The ole faithful gossipers: You will find this mostly in older people. Im not talking the ones who will tell a story about someone, but the ones who will tell you the same story 10 times in a day and cant wait to get to the next person to tell them someone elses news. There popular saying "Well you didnt hear this from me, but......."
• Spiders: I hate spiders. They are creepy, crawly, ugly, fuzzy, nasty, mean, and everything else I hate. Although, I wont squish one unless it attacks.
• Animal Cruelty: As far as im concerned thats like cruelty to a child, its helpless and cannot defend itself
• People looking at me while im eating: Does anyone else have this problem? I cannot stand to sit down in a restaurant and someone I dont know sititing in my view where they can see me. Then they glance over while im eating, I HATE this!
• Over confident people: The kind that think they look the best, smell the best, are the best at everything, and are the smartest.
• The death penelty: Okay Mr. Smith, you killed Mr, Jones and thats wrong! Now we kill you! I mean seriously isnt that awfuly contradicting? Isnt that getting off the easy way? Wouldnt it be worse to sit in jail your whole life and rot?
• Dreams where you cant wake up: You know the kind where there is a monster getting closer and you cant move, breath, or scream and you are continuously trying to jump yourself awake.
• Beets: Yuck!
• Dane Cook: Do we have to drop the F bomb every 5 seconds??

More to come I promise, but for now im retiring for the night.

Long time, No blog

            So sorry to my 3 fans whom have been searching everday to find nothing new posted on my blog. I could tell you I have been extremeley busy fighting fire breathing dragons or summoning spirits from the nether world, but that would be a lie. Truth be know I have been sitting on my couch doing absolutley nothing. Well besides work and school, pretty much nothing. Truley how is it as soon as you start a blog funny things stop happening to you (besides the occasional toenail in th eye thing(see previous blog) I mean seriously, my husband hasnt said anything remotley funny in his sleep, nor have I tripped and fell on my face latley. So, I didnt feel the need to put all you 3 fans through the misery of reading an extremely long and boring ramble.
            As of today, I have something semi-funny to share. My cat Zoey has just recentley had her claws removed. I know what you people are thinking(thats cruel and awful and you should be given the death penalty), but if you could see the large patches she has made in the paint on the wall, you would never think that again. Pre-surgery she would take her needle like talons, scrath the paint and peel the rest with her mouth. What a crazy cat! So we took her in to have them removed. She is finally done with the re-coop stage and is now doing all kinds of crazy things that she thinks she can still do, but doesnt realize she no longer can grab on to things. For instance, just yesterday she was being her normal spastic self and ran and jumped on the side of the bed (not understanding she can no longer cling to anything), she slides all the way down the bed and BAM right into the wall with her face. Another occurance, she goes to jump on the side and climb up the couch as shes grasping over and over sliding as if she is swimming through a pool until she falls on her butt. I realize these occurances may not be hilarious to all of you, guess it was a you have to be there to witness it kind of thing.
            What is it with teenagers nowadays(I know totally different subject, but this popped up in my head). I realize, I too once was a teenager. Seriously, they sleep until 5 pm and there almost 70 year old dad,whom has diabetes, yet still gets up and works in the hot sun for 8 hours, yet they cant even get there butt out of bed and cut the grass for them...UGH!! I mean really, I have never seen anything lazier than a cat until now(cat goes with the last subject).
            On the good note, I figured out a way to be done with school 3 months earlier. Although I will literally be at school from 8 am-9pm, but I can and will do it (i get a break in between). I will be exhausted and thats my poor husband sonly 2 days off of the week, but if it gets me out of this smoke filled house 3 months earlier im there.
            Speaking of smoke, I love my granny, but REALLY granny you dont cough because of that cold you have supposedly had for the past 20 years! You cough because of that nasty thing you choose to light up 30 times a day and puff on! It is not your sinuses or your allergies(who has outside allergise in dead winter?), its that awful smell or grossness filling the once clean air. Why do people choose to do this anyways. I mean yeah I get "you dont understand its so hard to quit and so addicting", okay, but why did you start in the first place. AND_Dont you love how people smoke a ciggerette like they are the sexiest thing in the world? Hello, you look nasty! You could be Johnny Depp and ill be like oh baby he be fine and you stick a cancer stick in your mouth and BAM, you just dropped almost every point you just had!
          Anyways, I really need to get ready for school so ill quit my complainin. It had just been a while :)
           

I couldn't resist

            I couldn't resist writing a funnier blog with less creepiness that is. I had to tell you all about my "fabulous" pedicure I had to give last night. Well, this will also get pretty "creepy".
            So, last night was pedicure night at school. I received a pedicure last week and unfortunately this week I had to give one. Well to say the least my partner was an older lady, I wont say names. She is a really sweet lady and I felt bad for gagging. We get out things prepared to start our pedicure process and the first thing she says is "Im so sorry for my feet I havent washed them sense last night and they have been cooped up all day long". (Oh dear, this wont be fun). I start step number one and begin to remove her shoes, I almost faint. The strong odor of sweat and hot rubber burn my nose. GAG. I try so hard to hold in the tears, but my eyes start watering. I begin to "Chat" with my client and ask about her kids, job, why the hell her feet smell of rubber and school. I then stick her feet in the hot soapy water and tell her to swoosh them around a bit (hoping to get the smell off), she pulls her feet out of the foot spa and GAG, now they smell of sweaty hot rubber and wet dog. I continue any conversation my mind comes upon in order to try and get my mind off of this horrid smell. I pick up a set of clippers and begin to clip away. SNAP, next thing I know I see it coming for me, a big giant smelly toenail. BAM, right in the eye. She begins to laugh. Now at this time im sitting there clippers in one hand other hand holding her foot and toenail in the eye. I do everything I could not to slam her foot down into the water. DAMN you cosmetology diploma for sayin I MUST do pedicures even though all I will be doing after school is hair. I finally managed to get the pedicure done(after skipping many steps) and then Thank GOD, it was time to go home.
            Moral of story: IF you KNOW you are about to go to school and recieve a pedicure, wash your feet!!! Dont be a jerk!!

Paranormal Activity

            Yeah, i know some of you skeptics out there are reading my title saying "Pffff, yeah okay". Well honestly I would say the same thing if I had not have witnessed the things I have. Its not like I have went without believing in ghosts, I've just never had the occurrences like I do living in this house. (If you are looking for a funny blog, today is not your day, and this is not the blog to read. Today's blog consists of creepiness).My mom has told me several stories of creepy things she has witnessed and my mom doesnt lie(Well just one time I caught her in a lie. She told me she didnt eat my apple pie from the fridge....and turns out she did...Yet, she felt bad a few days later and fessed up). I, myself, have now witnessed complete creepiness. My husband and I are convinced that my grandparents house is possesed and we dont think its a good thing.

Episode 1

            On our way out the door to go visit the in-law's I decided to take pictures. I sat down in the car and pointed my camera towards my husband and pushed down the button. I then handed my husband the camera and asked him to do the same. What he caught in that flash of time is the scariest thing I have ever seen in my life. When we put the pictures on the computer and I turned to the picture of me sitting in the car, I glanced in the background. My heart started flying. Looking into the car window was a screaming girl. You could see teeth, blonde hair, and even a shirt. She looked as if she was being dragged into Hell itself. Standing above her was what looked like some sort of demon. I swear on my life that I have not tampered with this photo. You can ask my mother herself how creepy this photo is.

Episode 2

            So, if anyone knows me well, you know that I have trouble falling asleep at night. I am a night owl! One night im laying there trying to fall asleep and I see a shadow from across the room. I glance over towards the attic door and see a tall black figure standing about 5 feet away. I jump up and it disappears.

            A few nights later, I finally get to sleep and am awaken by my phone beeping(who on earth would be texting me at 4am?) I check my phone to see what the text says, it reads: Hey Jenn. The text is from Katie (whom lives right downstairs) I run downstairs to see why the heck Katie would text me this and wake me up when she knows how hard it will be for me to fall back asleep. I walk in her room to find her sound asleep and her phone dead as a doornail. I wake her up and ask her why she texted me. She swears she fell asleep hours ago and hasnt touched her phone since then.

Episode 3

            We are sitting in our room (right beside Marcys) watching a movie when we hear an explosion and hear Marcy screaming. I run into her room and there is glass everywhere. She explains that she was watching tv and her light dome (not the light bulb itself, but the part that protects the light) exploded. Now it didnt just break and fall, there was glass from one end of the room to another.

Episode 4

            I am sitting here in the room typing on the computer when I hear what sounds like a gunshot come from the refridgerator. I slowly walk over to the fridge and open it. There is a can that had frozen and has now exploded everywhere. I laugh and think someone must have accidentally turned up the fridge. I look and it hasnt been turned up, also every other can in there (about 9 other cans) are luke warm. The fridge had acctually been turned down. Now tell me how that one can froze and exploded??

            So, if you arent convinced now I dont know what will do it. I just know that this house is creeping me out!!

Thats what ya get paid for

            Don't you just hate when people come to work and stand there ALL day long. I mean sure, I know that there are days where there is absolutely nothing to do, but everyday??? I mean the people who come into work and when a customer walks by them instead of saying "Hello, how are you today?", they glare at them hoping they wont come anywhere near them so they wont have to go to the trouble of helping them find something. I mean the kind that complain about not having enough hours, yet when they are there they stand there and mope saying"UGH, ugh, UGH, its still an hour til' I go home, I'm gonna ask if I can leave early". I mean what would they do with extra hours, OH they would stand there and mope and stare and yap, yap, yap. I'm not saying I don't talk at work, nor am I saying I have never been guilty of just standing there doing nothing. I'm guilty of that, yet I don't think that's all I'm suppose to do. Hello people, that's what ya get paid for, to work. That's why they call it a job! OR, the people who are standing right next to the fitting rooms and when the page comes over the intercom saying "Customer needs assistance in fitting room 4", They look around at every other employee in the store to see if someone is on there way and then pretend to do something so they wont have to help a customer. I mean do you not realize how lazy that makes you look?? Are you not worried about getting fired or written up??
            Anyways, that's my thought for the day :) PS_I am not a bad person, but lately people are starting to irk me. I mean human intelligence is dropping and fast. Are these the people that will teach our grandchildren someday? Will they stand there and say "Uh, students......There is no work today...Have fun picking your nose and sticking your buggers to little Tim's forehead".

Ignorance is my new best friend

            Sad to say, but it is true. I cant help to be in this teriible, crabby, bad attitude kinda way lately. I CAN say im blessed with a great husband, awesome family, and I know GOD. Yet still not everything is sugar and spice.
            First off, we live in the upstairs of my grandparents house. You may say there is nothing wrong with this and really if you say that then you have clearly never lived in the upstairs off your grandparnets house at 22 years old. Let me eloborate. These are just a few things that wre wrong:

1. Knocks every 10 minutes at your door for the sole purpose to annoy you.
2. We cant go out to eat or have a date night without checking in with my granny to tell her that we are going out and not to cook a bunch (even without us here she cooks the same exact amount, but if you dont inform her, you wont hear the end of it)
3. You look in the bathroom to see you need to wash laundry. You go to the washing machine to see that someone else is washing and has 5 more loads to do.
4. Even though when you have been living in a smoke filled house you get immune to the smell, you still manage to have a killer migraine everyday from all of the ciggerette smoke. Not to mention when you go to a hotel to spend the night if you bring one suitcase from your home, when you return from dinner out you will discover the whole entire room now smells of smoke. Also, everywhere you go people say "I didnt know you smoked" UGH!
5. My granny lets me know things I am doing wrong, even though before she alerts me she ALWAYS says "Now im not trying to be your boss, but......"
6. I can never walk out of the house without a jacket on in the fall/winter, even to take the dogs out (which takes all of 2 minutes) because if 2 weeks from now I have a cold I will be told every waking hour "I told you that you need to wear a jacket"
7. My grandparents like to keep it on 78 degrees in the summer, I dont know about everyone else, but thats insanley HOT for summertime!

            Dont get me wrong, I appreciate my grandparents greatly for letting us live with them for over a year now, but there comes a point when you want to get romantic with your husband and cant because you can hear your grandmother coughing, and lets face it if you can hear her then she can hear you. My husband and I have been living here now for a year and a half and we are both EXTREMELY ready to be on our own. The thing stopping us, money. There is never enough. Maybe if we could move out on our own my mother wouldnt have to ask me every day "Have you started your period Jennifer?"....and ME:"Yes mom"....HER: "Dang!". I mean I think we are both so ready to start a family. I know im still young, but I see all these people my age with kids and I envy them. I want that too. I know, babies are hard work. I do realize that. But im almost 23 and it takes 9 months to form. My husband is almost 24. I mean we are both ready! I guess all we can do is pray and hope that soon it works out that we can afford our own place. These are the plus's to being on your own:

1. You can walk around naked anywhere you want!
2. You can cook whatever you want, whenever you want
3. You are your own boss and no one else tells you how you need to do things
4. If I want to leave a plate in the sink without washing it that night, so be it.
5. We no longer have to control our sexual splurges.....Just sayin'
6. If I want to wear booty shorts and a tank outside while taking my dogs pee and catch a cold in the process, then by golly I will.
7. PEACE AND QUITE
8. No one knocking on our door asking if they can watch the netflix movie with us

What else is there to say, you get my drift. Im ready to have our own place. So, please Lord read this:) Im waiting for your repsonse:)

One crazy night in Georgia

            I went to get the Global Keratin put in my hair (mandy thats for your patience) last night and got done about 11:00 PM. I realized my stomache was growling and I hadnt eaten in about 6 hours, so I thought I would do the unhealthy thing to do and stop by McDonalds and pick up something quick. I pull in the drive through to see a woman sitting there staring at the menu. She say "Hello, UH, HELLO!" and the menu says"Hold please!"(I know menu's dont really talk) So we sit there for another five minutes and just as im about to pull off the menu FINALLY takes the ladies order. (By the way all she ordered was a small drink, like really?) It's finally my turn and I can taste the yummy fish sandwich with extra tartar and ketchup(Thank you Casey for getting me hooked). I pull up to the menu and the lady says"Hold Please"(apparentley this is her favorite sentence, if that would even count as a sentence) I wait patientley for about 5 minutes(doesnt sound like alot, but it feels really long when your waiting in a drive through with not another car in sight) then FINALLY she "takes" my order I tell her my craving and then after im done she says "Okay mam what was that?" (UGH) I repeat myself twice and she says plainly "Please pull around to the FIRST window" So I pull around to the FIRST window and sit for what seem like an hour, the lady pokes her head around and says "mam, we just closed this window can you pull to the next one?"(Double UGH) I pull to the next window where I see a creepy guy standing waiting to order at the counter, He stares at me. And stares some more. So, now im frustrated and uncomfortable. The lady opens the window and takes my money, then slams it back. She opens the window again and starts to carry on a conversation about how dead its been (Really? Its been dead is this why ive been sitting in the McDonalds parking lot for 15 monutes now?) I snicker then look back down at my phone, the lady drops her keys and while bending down to retrieve them, farts not once, but twice. Okay so now im frustrated, uncomfortable, and embarassed for the lady farting all over the place. She proceeds on talking to me and I talk back when she starts speaking spanish to someone behind her(keep in mind ive now been sitting at the second window for about 5 minutes now) then she turns around and says to me "Okay mam your fish is cooking"(AHHHH!). Finally I get my food and start driving home thinking this will be easy. I start eating my sandwich as a giant clump of tarter sauce falls into my lap (Crap). I reach over to get a napkin from the glove box. I lean up and begin to wipe the tartar sauce off of my lap and then hang a (facepalm) brilliant idea to wrap my sandwich in a paper towel so if the sauce falls out my napkin can catch it. I start eating my sandwhich again and "flop" my glove box falls open and napkins fly everywhere. (Ugh, this night sux). I finally drive for a few minutes without anything bad happening and I realize im chewing something very bland, its not fish. I swallow and say to myself "well they really need to season there fish or something". So I get home, at last, and put the car in park. I turn on the light to eat the rest of my sandwhich and see what was so bland. Ive eaten half of my napkin. Yes, folks....I ate my napkin. I peel the rest of this blandness off of my sandwhich and finsih the rest. Sigh, thank the lord im home. I gather my things and open the door. While stepping out of the car I step on a tree root and fall on my face, diet coke goes all over me. After that nothing else bad happened, but good gracious that was a long night. Out of all that ive learned 3 things:

1. Everyone Farts, even your neighborhood McDonalds lady.
2. Diet Coke is just as hard to get out of clothes as regular Coke is.
3. There is a giant tree root right where we park.

Cheap as dirt!

            So, I went bargain shopping today in my place of work and let me just say I did pretty darn good. We are having a sale on socks/panties for men, women, and children. I only spent $20 dollars and bought all of the following:

• 2 packs of  socks(12 pair) for the hubby
• 4 packs of socks (12 pair) for myself (I had to clarify how many pair so ppl didnt think I bought more for myself:)
• 6 pair of panties for myself (Obviously, that would be intolerable if the husband wore panties)
• 1 pack of socks for my little brother
• 1 pack of underwear for my little brother
• 2 shirts for my little brother

Yes, I most certainly got all that for $20 bucks, im such a good deal finder. i guess it made it even easier that it was the place I worked having the sale so i could keep an eye out. So, to let everyone know, im extremeley cheap! I wont buy clothes full price, I will wait until that last second, because I know if I buy that shirt ive been wanting for $20, ill come in 2 weeks later and it will be in the back of the store on a little rack that says CLEARANCE $5.00. I mean, isnt it good to be that way, if you think of all the money I save being this way, it would be a ton.
            I dont truley know the point to this blog, nor do I know where it's going. Im just saying HanesBrands is having an awesome sale right now and it only lasts through Sunday.
            Wow, I just read over this story and it is truley boring. It probably ended up being miserabley boring because I always read The Shan's blog hoping for motivation to be funny. Well guess what, her's was NOT funny today, so mine is boring as well. (Hey Shan dont you love your name being in italics? Isnt that fancy? Yeah I said it, your blog today wasn't funny. Take that!) Anyways, Im gonna quit rambling now and Shannon is going to get on her blog and write a truely inspiring humorous blog so I cant write one as well.
THE END

So little time

            You ever have those days where you have tons of stuff to do, but your butt just seems to disagree. (No, I am not referring to uncontrollable diarrhea) I mean the days where your butt seems to stay glued to the couch, even though your head is listing about 50 things that need to be done: (In your head: laundry, oh yes and then there was that movie I really wanted to watch, no, no.....Laundry, Cleaning, Man my hair stinks I need a shower....Let me just check my facebook one more time(As you slap your hand) NO! This house is a wreck!) So, now do you know what days I am referring to? Okay, well today is one of those days!
            I have been sitting on this couch for approximately 3 hours and all ive managed to do is eat and while I was eating, I sat on the couch. I know, I understand there are people in this world that dont have this problem. (Alarm clock rings, a few minutes later they look over_5:05 a.m., Oh DEAR! Im running late! Let me just get up and spend precisely 3 hours cleaning before I go to work) These people make me sick! How do you do it? Im the (Alarm clock rings, SNOOZE, it rings again, SNOOZE, and again, TURN THE ALARM OFF, thirty minutes later....Oh crap im late for work) kinda girl. Im the type that forgets what day it is. "Its Thursday, when did this happen?". Yeah, that kind.
            I want to start a routine, ive tried to start a routine, but something always ends up going wrong! It never fails, ill be doing SO good with my routine for the day and then bam "Hey babe, you know we are suppose to go have dinner at Thomas' house tonight?" or TEXT:"Hey can you pick up my kids from daycare". So, ive pretty much figured out that my life wasn't meant to be all planned out, it was meant to be hectic, crazy, and all over the place. What fun is it to know exactly what will happen at exactly what time? I just want to wake up every morning, that is all I ask. (and I would like to wake up without sniffing the air and saying "Gah what smells like dying skunk" and my husband answering (snickering)"haha, I farted")
            OH, before I go I have to tell you about my husband's lovely things he's said in his sleep:
1. "Hey, get that bitch off of me!"
2."I swear if that chicken ever does that again, he's had it!"
3. "Dang....That girl in the rubber suit, she's real adventurous"
4."Dont! Do not come any closer!"
     AND last but certainley not least:
5. (as im in the living room and he has been asleep for about 2 hours now, he walks in with his junk hanging out from his underwear and says) "Uh...Hey....Goodnight now"
           Yes, my husband talks and hangs his peewee out in his sleep, but sometimes I wait until he goes to sleep just to see what funny thing he will say or do :)

SideNote

            For those who read a recent blog of mine and were offended because I dont care for Obama, im sorry. I believe a blog should be based on the owner of the blog's opinion, not the sugar coated opinion that everyone else in the world wants it to be! I do not hate Obama, I never used the word hate anywhere near his name. I simply dont care for him. You know those type of people that give you, what I like to call, the eebie geebies? Well, he is one of mine. I dont feel comfortable watching him on tv and dont care for the way that he seems to forget the most important thing, God. Would God look down upon this earth and say "Sweet, gay marriage!" or "Man, I really am glad that she killed her unborn child, the world didnt need another!" NO! He wouldnt, so why should anyone else? A man was created for a woman and a woman for a man. Thats why we have the parts we do! DO NOT take this as me critisizing gay people, because I DO have gay friends! I dont judge them, I just dont agree with them. Also, why do we think killing a human being when its out of the womb is the worst thing in the world....Yet, just a few moments before when its mother was still carrying it, Oh its okay now, just kill the thing? HELLO! The baby still has a heartbeat! It's alive! Anyway, just though I would clear things up. I am NOT a hater! Just a DISLIKER!

The blabbable blab

            If you can even say this title 10 times really fast ill be amazed. (Its funny how all of you are sitting there now trying to say "The Blabbable Blab" really fast)Anyway, my point was that the blog of the day really has no point. Its just blab. Random thoughts from my head. If your still reading after that I will tell you a funny story from a few years back.
            (SCENERIO) Im signing up for my first semester of college and Dad decides since hes paying for the schooling that he must embarass accompany me. (Keep in mind that he is a general contactor so you can imagine when he just gets off work for the day he looks like a homeless painter) So Dad and I go into the building to wait for the sweet old lady to call up my name. We stand in line for what seems like hours when I start to notice Dad, whom just got off work smells of sweat, dirt, and a bit like spicey chips.
Dad: (he has an extremeley loud voice, that carries!) "Im SO hungry! I havent eaten in quite sometime now!"
Me: "Dad! Dont talk so loud! everyone can hear you
Dad: "I dont give a damn who can hear me,Im hungry!
Me: (Looking around at all the people staring out of the corner of their beedy little eyes) "Just dont talk so loud your "hurting my ears"
            And then he spots it, I tried to hide the table full of donuts, brownies, and refreshments of all sorts, but it was too late his Hungry Eyes already snuck a peek. I knew from then on after this moment I was done for never to show my face around this school again. And then what I was hoping wouldnt come out of dad's blatant uproaring of a mouth.
Dad: (As he is scurrying to the refreshments) "Hey Jennifer! Look FREE food! Its FREE! Come get some.
           Yeah, he went there! So thats my ramble for the day
Moral of todays Story:  Just because someone looks homeless, smells homeless, says hes hungry every 5 seconds like a homeless person, and about knocks everyone in sight over scammpering to the Free food, doesnt technically make them homeless.

Agree with The Shan

            Dear hubby,
                     When I say that I am tired that does not mean "Gah honey I really wish that you would scunch up next to me, even though we have a king size bed, and scratch my arm and back". It simply means, hey I would like to go to sleep now. I dont want to talk, cuddle, or do that thing you are really trying to get me to do and wont admit. I simply want to snuggle up to my memory foam pillow, with my warm blanket and a fan blowing in my face and sleep soundly! That is all I ask! There are certain nights that I will gladly "lolligag" with you, but some nights im just pooped! That is all for now.
            PS_I know that is NOT a flashlight!

Idiocracy

            I know, I know, I say im not mean and hateful yet I have a blog titled Idiocracy. Honestley Im just craving to complain. Kinda like pregnant women crave things such as dirt and pickles. 
            Okay, so where to start? Probably from the begining. Onstar emplyees are DUMB! I shall explain: We called to get our subscription renewed because we were sent a SALE paper saying we could renew now for the LOW price of  $149.99 (Not $199.99), So Stephen goes on telling the man that he wants the deal that he saw on the SALE paper that he was sent, "Okay sir, YES! Its a great deal isnt it? Okay sir we just credited your account $199.99" Stephen: "Um, excuse me sir, it says here that its $149.99??" Salesperson: "............Oh, it does? HMMMM???? (Fingers tapping rapidly on the keyboard).....HMMM??Oh yeah, I see that now...So let me just fix that for you (click, click, click)...Okay sir now everything is fixed, your account was credited $149.99 Stephen: "Was the other price of $199.99 taken off?" Salesperson: "Yes, sir everything is fixed..You have a nice day"
            So, later on in the day im driving to pay the furniture payment when something tells me to check the bank first. I drive to ATM and wait patientley for it to display my balance of what I think is a little over $200 dollars, to my surprise this pops up instead: -$45. Of coarse I freak out and although Im about to deposit some money, I know that this amount is NOT correct! I then remember the conversation earlier that my husband has with the sales person. (UGH, I mean seriously did the person not remember that he just had credited 200 dollars prior to him taking 150?) So, we are now waiting patientley to see if this money that the salesperson (whom we called again, and my husband fussed out) will, like he says he will, credit it back to our account where it belongs AND credit back the $30 dollar fee for us going negative! The Catch: We MAY have to wait "approximetally" 72 hrs for them to get the money back to us?????
          Moral of the story:  If you take money out of someones account and dont put it back, there is NO magic fairy that will do it for you. DONT be an idiot! Just sayin'

Things I love to loathe

            Let me start with a nice, short little paragraph for ya. I am not an unkind person and there arent many things that I just absolutley hate, but with that said there are many things that just absolutley get under my skin. Here are some examples of such:

• When im driving at a good pace down 400 and some jackass gets in the left lane and decides to go the same exact speed as the person in the right lane; Therefore blocking anyone to pass either person going slow. (note to you people, there is a reason why they have signs on the side of the road saying "Keep right except to pass" Learn to read or QUIT driving!)
• When im talking to you and you glance at me and say "Yeah" and "uh-huh", yet when im half way through my conversation you say "sorry, what?" (If you werent listening to begin with dont act like you are, just tell me "hey your story is boring me", because honesley id rather not waste my breath.)
• When people get one side of the story and run with it, listening to what only one person says and believing every word of it. (HELLO, ever thoguht to stop and think "hey, this side may just be the rumor and the other side not")
• When my husband takes everything jokingly and never see's the serious side of things. (Sometimes its nice to have an adult conversation where fart noises arent used as background noises...Im just sayin' )
• How people always judge the book by its cover (If someone wears all black it automatically makes them a gothic dragon lover. If a girl wears her hair cropped short she must be a lesbian. If someone coughs a few times they have to had smoked 12 packs a day)
• When a man poots its hilarious, when a woman poots the same man looks at us like we are from another planet. When a man goes without shaving for a couple days his scruff is considered sexy, when a woman goes the same length of time without shaving its considered immoraly disgusting. (YO, people us women arent perfect either!! We take craps just like you guys)
• When people roll their windows of their car down to throw trash out the window. (Seriously?!?! Your lazy ass couldnt walked into your house/work/where ever your headed and throw it in the dang garbage?!?!)
• Obama (enough said)
• Liars who want you to believe them(after ive caught you in approximatly 10,456 lies, why would I believe you?)
• When you say "Thank you for calling HanesBrands" and the person on the other line says "Is this HanesBrands?" ("No mam you have reached Screaming Sallies sex line")

Well folks I could probably think of more, but since I have 0 followers...Why waste my breath..LOL

Thats how the cookie crumbles

            As I was climbing the stairs of the apartment to visit my (adorable, about to pop, eight months pregnant) sister yesterday I saw this cute little black fluff ball. I noticed it had a collar on, so I figured it just belonged to some idiot who let there kitten roam around an apartment complex just waiting to get stolen, poisoned, or ran over. I reached down to pet the little fluff ball and to my surprise it felt like a skeleton. My sister opens the door to her apartment and says "Oh that poor thing has been out here for a while, and my neighbor just stuck a collar on it". I ask "So its your neighbors cat? Because this poor thing hasnt eaten in forever" She says "No, he just wanted to put a collar on it, he's an idiot"(My thoughts exactley) So we go about our day, going to her doctors appointment and then proceed on to eat lunch. (Now, if anyone knows me you know I have a HUGE soft spot for animals. I dont care if its a hurt opossum, if its helpable then im gonna help it.) We get back to her appartment to pick up some of her things and there this poor kitty is again. (I honestley think God is a humorous man, he dangles this adorable, malnurished kitten in my face and he KNOWS I will take it) So I go up with Katie and ask for an old towel, shes ecstatic that I am going to take the kitty (Her hubby wouldnt let her save it...lol) I wrap this sweet kitty up and carry her to the car. Amongst driving back home the kitty DID NOT want to be alone. She wouldnt roughly climb up onto my shoulder and fall asleep. I secretley tote her upstairs to our bedroom and to my surprise she is not scared of my cats or my dogs. I put her in the bathroom and get her some food. Im telling you I HAVE never seen anything eat so fast (not even my husband). Later that night I come home to find her snuggled up next to Stephen on the couch (When it comes to animals my husband and i are exactley alike and this is one of the reasons I married him) I told him we could not keep him and he says "I know, I know how this system works". So really this is just a boring story about me finding a cute kitty. The moral of the story is IF I find you sitting out a helpless kitten at an apartment complex, I will kick you in the nuts and if you dont have those your gonna get a boob punch AND if you werent lucky enough to have those, well thats where the swift kick in the ass comes in:) So DONT do it, animals have feelings too!!

Upon Bathing...

            So, upon bathing I was reciting my introduction rap in my head and realized im an idiot. I mentioned that yes I am indeed married, but forgot to introduce my video game loving loving husband. Forgive me for this forgetfulness.
            Let me start with his name, Stephen Grantz, I know we have the same last name (how cool is that). He is the Service Manager of the Dawsonville Wal-Mart's Automotive Center and im more than sure that he hates it. He enjoys long walks on the beach and candle light dinners. Okay, so I made that last one up (but wouldnt that be great). Let me just say that my husband is a hard worker. I am so greatful to have a man that acctually works! We have been married for over a year now and are still doing good, although we live in the upstairs of my grandparents house (right over the kitchen/dining room), so as you can imagine the romance is lacking. I know, I know, TMI right? Well this is MY blog, so get over it! :) (Please dont take anything I say on here serious and dont let anything hurt your feelings, im a jokester) I am currentley attending school again, so that I can have a good career and support my husband equally as much as he supports me. I am not the old school kind of girl that thinks a man should go out and work his bum off, while the woman stays home. I believe us woman can do anything a man can (except the helicopter_PS-MOM, I will have to explain what the helicopter is in person). I cant wait to move into to our own home and start a family with my husband. I hope our children have his eyes, because mine are boring. He hopes thay have my long legs, so they arent short and stumpy (his words). I can see us growing old together, me in my rocking chair and him on the couch playing Final Fantasy Vol. 126. It will be a sight to see (while typing the word "sight" I tolotally almost typed the word "shit" instead) That pretty much sums up my wonderful hubby. Hard-worker, video gamer, and the love of my life.

An Introduction Rap

So im starting off this blog today
with just a little tune
Dont worry this introduction rap
will all be over with soon
My name is Jennifer Grantz
Yeah my last name has a "Z"
Im no where near a wild person
Yo, I really hate parties
I go to school for cosmetology
So I do lotsa hair
But when someone has bugs
I say get up out my chair
Im truley real sorry fellas
Im a married lady
And YES mom someday we shall
Have you a grandbaby
Speakin of my Mom
She be the coolest in the land
And when your sad and down
She'll always give you a hand
I enjoy lotsa laughing
So bring on the humor
Blah blah blah ha ha ha
 Only thing that rhyms is tumor
I have two dogs and two cats
who like to lay around
And if you hug Zoey too tight
She makes a crazy sound
Yo, I live with my grandparents
In a house filled with smoke
And when ya walk through the front door
It makes ya almost choke
The most important thing in life
Would be my Lord and Savior
Hes the only thing in this world
That can really save ya
His mercy is amazing
Yeah, hes a fly guy                  (Mom, fly means cool)
And when I pass on someday
With him ill fly high
I guess that says a little bit
About Jennifer Grantz
And if ya have a question
Just raise ya hand
But seriously guys
Ima wrap this thing up now
Bye, cya, hatsa la vista
Sianara, Chow!