One crazy night in Georgia

            I went to get the Global Keratin put in my hair (mandy thats for your patience) last night and got done about 11:00 PM. I realized my stomache was growling and I hadnt eaten in about 6 hours, so I thought I would do the unhealthy thing to do and stop by McDonalds and pick up something quick. I pull in the drive through to see a woman sitting there staring at the menu. She say "Hello, UH, HELLO!" and the menu says"Hold please!"(I know menu's dont really talk) So we sit there for another five minutes and just as im about to pull off the menu FINALLY takes the ladies order. (By the way all she ordered was a small drink, like really?) It's finally my turn and I can taste the yummy fish sandwich with extra tartar and ketchup(Thank you Casey for getting me hooked). I pull up to the menu and the lady says"Hold Please"(apparentley this is her favorite sentence, if that would even count as a sentence) I wait patientley for about 5 minutes(doesnt sound like alot, but it feels really long when your waiting in a drive through with not another car in sight) then FINALLY she "takes" my order I tell her my craving and then after im done she says "Okay mam what was that?" (UGH) I repeat myself twice and she says plainly "Please pull around to the FIRST window" So I pull around to the FIRST window and sit for what seem like an hour, the lady pokes her head around and says "mam, we just closed this window can you pull to the next one?"(Double UGH) I pull to the next window where I see a creepy guy standing waiting to order at the counter, He stares at me. And stares some more. So, now im frustrated and uncomfortable. The lady opens the window and takes my money, then slams it back. She opens the window again and starts to carry on a conversation about how dead its been (Really? Its been dead is this why ive been sitting in the McDonalds parking lot for 15 monutes now?) I snicker then look back down at my phone, the lady drops her keys and while bending down to retrieve them, farts not once, but twice. Okay so now im frustrated, uncomfortable, and embarassed for the lady farting all over the place. She proceeds on talking to me and I talk back when she starts speaking spanish to someone behind her(keep in mind ive now been sitting at the second window for about 5 minutes now) then she turns around and says to me "Okay mam your fish is cooking"(AHHHH!). Finally I get my food and start driving home thinking this will be easy. I start eating my sandwich as a giant clump of tarter sauce falls into my lap (Crap). I reach over to get a napkin from the glove box. I lean up and begin to wipe the tartar sauce off of my lap and then hang a (facepalm) brilliant idea to wrap my sandwich in a paper towel so if the sauce falls out my napkin can catch it. I start eating my sandwhich again and "flop" my glove box falls open and napkins fly everywhere. (Ugh, this night sux). I finally drive for a few minutes without anything bad happening and I realize im chewing something very bland, its not fish. I swallow and say to myself "well they really need to season there fish or something". So I get home, at last, and put the car in park. I turn on the light to eat the rest of my sandwhich and see what was so bland. Ive eaten half of my napkin. Yes, folks....I ate my napkin. I peel the rest of this blandness off of my sandwhich and finsih the rest. Sigh, thank the lord im home. I gather my things and open the door. While stepping out of the car I step on a tree root and fall on my face, diet coke goes all over me. After that nothing else bad happened, but good gracious that was a long night. Out of all that ive learned 3 things:

1. Everyone Farts, even your neighborhood McDonalds lady.
2. Diet Coke is just as hard to get out of clothes as regular Coke is.
3. There is a giant tree root right where we park.